requiem
by magnum opus
Summary: it's finally time to let go. [postgame, complete]


_disclaimer: final fantasy vii and its characters are property of squaresoft, inc. no profit was made in the creation of this fic._

_nb: not a very original idea, and i feel as though i'm subconsciously ripping someone off. let me know if this is the case._

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**requiem  
**_by magnum opus_

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He was leaving her today.

There was no need for words; she just knew. It was evident to her from the look in his dark sapphire eyes that the frayed silk threads attaching him to her were finally breaking.

He was leaving her. Yet, he had never actually been hers to begin with.

How many years had she spent yearning for him to say back the words that she whispered to the air behind his back? How many years had she wished that he would see beyond the cheerful mask that she wore, even around him, to see the broken girl behind who desperately craved his love? How many years had she longed for a single touch, a single hug, that pushed them beyond the boundaries of friendship?

It was never meant to be. His heart had already been given away, long ago, and it had not been given to her. All she could do was patch the broken shell that he was, smoothing the cracks over with cheap plaster and paint. But she had never been good at things like that.

She sighed and turned her attention back to the dishes in the sink, watching the soap suds churn down the drain in a whirlpool.

Once, they had been happy. Once, when the world had not been blanketed in the bleak white and grey that surrounded them now. Once, when life had been dashed with pretty pinks and emeralds, when lilting laughs had soothed them from the tension, warded them from the pain, reassured them of the future, and strengthened them with hope.

She had been happy, because he had been happy.

A single tear rolled down her porcelain cheek, dropping silently to mix with the swirling dishwater.

Life had never been fair to him. Him, the little runt in Nibelheim, always picked on by the older, bigger kids. She flushed as she remembered the days of standing by, watching, never doing anything as Johnny played the town bully, beating him and calling him names. She could have stopped him with just one word; Johnny always listened to her. But even as her mouth opened, her voice would choke, and the words would be whisked forgotten into the cold Nibel air.

Still, he had forgiven her. In fact, he had never blamed her.

He had never rebuked her for those nights of creeping out onto the old well, quiet conversations in the dark shroud that hid them from the prying eyes of the townspeople. He had never questioned her need to keep their friendship a secret, fearful of what the other children would say if they had found out that her best friend was the little bastard. She had always convinced herself that it was for his good, and that Johnny would do worse than the usual kicks and punches if he found out that his 'girl' was friends with him.

She would voice those concerns to him, an excuse to reassure herself that she was right. He would just smile patiently, head cocked to one side adorably as he listened to her words. Only on the night before he left, did she realise that he never ever said anything in those nightly meetings, choosing instead to focus his attention on her problems which were miniscule compared to his. All that time, and he never said a word.

She thought that was when she realised that she… loved him.

It had been selfish of her, assuming that his world had to revolve around her. He strived to keep the promise she had forced out of him, just so that she could be content in her little protected bubble. He endured the hardship of the training, never giving up even though he suffered as his body rejected the Mako. It wasn't his fault that he did not make it into SOLDIER, but because of the promise, he couldn't return home.

Only when he picked her up from the cold grate floor of the reactor, did he reveal those deep cobalt eyes from behind the visor, gazing at her in fear and guilt. And she had forgotten.

No, she never deserved him. She never understood him. She had wanted to believe that she did, but even that stormy night when she found him in front of the train station, all that had mattered to her was her childish fantasy. The knight was coming to save his damsel in distress. She never stopped to ponder when and why he became her knight.

A crash in the living room alerted her to his presence, and she hurriedly wiped her hands off on a dishcloth before rushing out of the kitchen.

"Cloud? What are you doing up so early?"

Bleary azure eyes blinked at her as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Want to see the sunrise."

She frowned at him, righting the stool he had toppled before snatching up a cushion from the couch and chucking it at him playfully. "I'll get some hot cocoa."

She watched him shuffle slowly out the door, clearing his throat and coughing slightly, before turning to place the kettle on the stove, brushing angrily at her wet face with the back of her hand. She had no right.

All those months they had spent chasing Sephiroth had been a dream to her. She always believed that only she knew the real Cloud, but that was just an illusion. The only person who succeeded in seeing beyond the twisted wreckage that Hojo had created was Aeris, and she had never thanked her for it. He had loved Aeris, she knew, but he never showed it because of her.

Always because of her.

The kettle whistled its lonesome song, and she poured out the steaming cocoa into a mug, holding it in one hand and scooping up the woollen blanket on the sofa as she made her way outside.

He was seated on the wooden swing they had installed on the porch, staring out into the horizon as the first rays of light peeked over the snow-capped tops of the Icicle mountain range. A cool breeze blew, and she tucked the blanket around his body before curling up beside him and offering him the mug. He sipped at the hot drink carefully, and she was pleased to note a slight reddish tinge on his cheeks as the cocoa warmed him. She silently snuggled closer, contemplating the mug she held in her hands.

Why did he stay? She had expected him to leave immediately after Meteor, in search of his true love. She would have gladly followed him, even if it meant breaking her own heart. She owed him that much. Instead, he settled in with her in a cosy cottage west of Bone Village, just as she had mentioned that night before they fought Sephiroth. He had remembered what she had said, like in the old days.

His breathing was softer now. He had fallen asleep again. She placed the mug down on the floor and shifted so that she could place her ear against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. The little gathering she had organised the day before had probably tired him out. She had wanted to see the rest of the gang again, and for them to see him. He had, of course, agreed. She raised her head and peered up into the once-bronzed face, creased with fatigue. And she suddenly realised that the answer had been there all the time.

He stayed because he wanted to. He stayed because he needed to. He stayed because she needed him to.

"Cloud?"

His eyes didn't open, but a slight twitch in his arm told her that he was listening. She pushed herself up and smoothed the messy blonde fringe back, brushing her lips against his forehead.

"I can take care of myself Cloud. You don't need to protect me anymore."

He never replied, except for a quiet sigh. She pulled back, and saw for the first time in five years, the tiny curl of his lips that she missed so much.

And she smiled back.

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( end, 02112002 )

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_**author's notes:**  
eh... it was supposed to come out more morbid, but oh well. i'll leave you to draw your own conclusion.  
anyway, this is just a short piece to placate those who have been waiting for me to update legacy. i'll work on that after the semester ends, promise._


End file.
